ee-death

How the f*ck can you question me?
My well-to-do self being is nothing what it seems,
I'm f*cking broken by the one thing I truly fear,
Something so complex, nothing could compare to it near,
My heart, whatever the f*ck was left,
Was broken and torn right from my very breast,
I watched as you squeezed with all your might,
I continued dying slowly since that fateful night.

I've become hostile to all those who I called my fam,
What you used to feel for me is nothing but a sham,
I call and message to see how your doing,
Your short responses show me your true feelings,
My pitiful cries for attention and help are blown off,
To the sound of another number on your cell,
You quickly answer to see who it is,
I hoped you did that for me is what I wish.

How can it be I could have possible cared for you so,
Since its over you treat me like a f*cking bloke,
You f*cked me over continuously day by day,
But guess what, I loved you, which made me stay,
Loved, being the key phrase in this rant rage,
To you, I guess I'm nothing more than a stage,
Honestly the most I'll ever be is your toy,
You know my words are true, don't act coy.

I'm nothing more than a fall back, just in case right?
Someone thats always gonna be there day and night,
A simple call and I'll be there, Johnny on the Spot,
You know this truth, your acts make me rot,
I'll be the one you can kick to the curve like a doll,
But guess what, I'll always be there to watch you fall.
I'll be the one to pick you up and stand by your side,
Unlike the rest who just want to f*ck you like a ride.

Your doubting me, but look into my eyes as I look into yours,
Understand the truth of life and its course,
My eyes swell to see you in the arms of another,
We spoke of family, happy to be a father,
I lost that warmth in my heart when you walked,
Wonder how different it'd be if we talked,
I sigh at you with you talks of a daughter,
Yet you take it as a joke, killing me like man-slaughter.

Changes Can Occur... Just Got To Want Them

Its 7:20 a.m. Friday, October 30, 2009. Yesterday we came back from Laredo due to the fact that I had to work (thank you management for cutting the time I spend with my family short). Yet, I got to see my mum, god how I missed her. Got there around the afternoon on Tuesday, but sadly she had to work so I didn't get long to see her. Though, I did get to see E. :) I know, I went to visit my family (which I did), but I got to see my Tiny.

So dropping off my mum, I swung by E's to see how she was, talk abit until I had to pick up my mum. E invited me back for dinner with her parents, but my mum was hungry so I took her to TP (Taco Palenque) for some Panchitos. [Pretty much nachos with alvacodo on top]. She loves that, so I dropped her off and asked if I could head over to E's for dinner. Yes I may be 20, but still rude if I just take the truck without asking.

I arrived late at E's, traffic in some parts. Everyone had finished eating except for her, which I felt bad cause I wanted her to eat too. Though she did eat, we got to watch "Last House on the Left" I think, meh kind of movie; but thats just my opinion. Movie ends and I'm there with her family (Father, Mother, 2 older Sisters, and Brother) when her phone vibrates [Thank you Lynday! :D]. She wanted to know what we were doing and asked if we wanted to go to Wingstop.

Thanks for the save from the awkwardness... So we are off, course I wasn't hungry and asked E if she was, said no so we were just there talking with Lynda and Chente for a whilie.