Its Cold Down In The Bottom

My dear. I hate this. They already made the schedule to the end of the month. I am overnight. I am beyond aggravated. The manager who controls the schedule is on vacation so I can't tell her to take me off overnights. As much as I enjoy the sense of peace and quiet that comes with working overnights, not being able to talk to you or my mum greatly outweighs its tranquility. This week that I had off, I tried as much to talk to you, but I felt hellish all week. Got headaches, body aches, sick most of the week. My mum had called me during the week, but I was either asleep or cranky/sick to talk with her. I know you mean well when you push me back to school...

Ohio, I know nothing about Literature or Writing. How can you think I'm good at something I don't fully understand? I know nothing about conjunctions, adjectives, adverbs, the difference between an action verb and a verb. How can I possibly become a journalist or get a degree in writing when I don't even know the basics. Forgive my pessimism, but I just can't see a way out of this hole I am continuous digging myself into. I will not blame others for the roadblocks I've set for myself. If you could live with me, would I really be selfish and let you? I honestly believe all I'd do is bring you down with me. I've spend countless sleepless hours lying in bed with that thought. I will not let myself sink you with me...

Waypoint Coming At You

Day 5:

So, today was my day off. Of course I didn't have to deal with society so I'm not sure if it's considered cheating or so, but I rather enjoyed it. Didn't get to work out, but did get to finish Tekken 6 Campaign Mode. Needless to say, it took me about 5 hours (I kinda wanted to see EVERY single cut-screen). It was a pretty fun game, different from the rest of the Tekken series. Not just an arcade mode, though would be nice if the Scenario Mode had 2P Mode. Would've been nice. But who am I to complain? It was a fun game :D

Day 6:

Back to work for me. Work in about 30 or so mins. So, it should be fun, I'm upstairs so again, no direct contact with people in general. Just me by my lonesome self. Question is, am I on next weeks schedule due to the fact that I'm on probation and all. I mean, if I had calls from other places I applied, I wouldn't have mind so much, even though I wouldn't want to leave that place in bad marks, but they have treated me like crap far too long. You can't claim you care about your employees one way then schedule them to the point of exhaustion. It contradicts yourself. Oh well, I'm sure most if not all places will in some way or another treat employees like that.

Holding You Back

"Many persons believe that to move up the ladder of success and achievement, they must forget the past, repress it, and relinquish it. But others have just the opposite view. They see old memories as a chance to reckon with the past and integrate past and present."

Assignment: Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present?

Memories can hinder or help an individual succeed in life. Perhaps they can weaken the state of mind or challenge someone to continue. It solely depends on an individual's point of view and how they see the world.

Personally, my memories, at times, hinder me as I recall past events in which I try to stop remembering but as much as they weaken me, they also tend to by the reasons I can still smile. Even though my memories of my past high school years seem to be that of a sappy love story in which I can't get this girl out of my mind, and it keeps me in the state of mind till I can't fight it and look at it positively in which I use it as a source of fuel where it drives me to succeed and become someone.

Once I think about my memories of then I turn it into a sense of rage in which I get angry at myself and I push myself to become better. Those same memories that blocked my mind and weakened me, now I use it as I turned it into my fuel that drives me to excel. That same fuel that keeps me up to date with my work and has had me join organizations. I look back at these past four years in which I meet her and I do not regret anything at all. At times, I become content with the idea that the fact that a simple loving memory can be devasting enough to put me in a state in which many may regret taking or not taking that action, it gives me the motivation to excel. and prove my worth.

Many will say it, I myself have told it to myself plenty of times,

"Stop living in the past. Live for the future."

Though it may be difficult to explain, my past has indeed interconnected my current life with that of my future; my past memories drive my future ones to succeed.