Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I LOVE Halloween

My costume :D

Monday, September 10, 2012

Making Peace

So I spoke with her last night. She called me crying, which broke my heart more than the day our relationship ended. He broke up with her. She apologized and told me the truth of everything. They had dated for some time. Her family loved him, something that would never happen towards me. It hurt to hear her crying for this guy, the guy who won her heart over me.

I wept as well, I love her, I still do, I always will, but truth is, I'm not sure even if the opportunity arose... would we get back together? Not because she has been with someone else, not because she admitted to loving him... I don't know. I don't think anything will ever be the same between, which saddens me. Honestly, I want her to be happy, she might have been perfect to me, but was I perfect for her?

Can I bring her happiness? Can I bring her the happiness she has with him? If I can't, I won't attempt to bring her to me. I don't want sex, I don't want a relationship, I want love. I want to be with someone and know, she is my one and only and no one else will ever catch my eye like she will. No one will compare.

She told me she wasn't the one for me, which hurt too. Was the time spent together a lie? Were the promises we made to each other so feeble and broken the moment they left our lips? Every promise I made to her I meant. Just like every time I said I love you. If you are reading this... I meant it every time and I still do, I still truly love you.

I'm not trying to stir anything with her or new relationships, far from it. I know she has enough to deal with. I just want to speak the truth to her always. I think what saddens me the most from all the promises and talks we had was that I asked something simple of her...

"If you ever find someone new... please end it with me, please don't lie to me and cheat."

You promised you would tell me... You lied. You cheated. For months. Just like my other ex. I knew, deep down I did know something was different between us even though we were miles away... but my god, it happened in the past but the pain is still as intense.

I'm not here to say karma is a bitch, I deep down really wish it works for you, I want... I need you to be happy. Hearing you cry, it broke me. Make it work. Talk to him, if he means anything like what you mean to me, make it work. Hold on to him.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Battle of Two Wolves