*low rumbling* Lillith? I luvs you. *glomp*

Every get that feeling your being watched? Got a cat? Friend of the Family has the cat? Meet Lillith. Danny bought this, runt, for Lynda on Valentine's Day 08. Back then, she was a true runt, possibly the middle child when she was born. Really frail looking; now time has come and gone. Guess what? Danny found out something.

Runts grow up and get bigger with proper care (and a sadistic roommate who gives her treats when they aren't watching :D). Bigger, badder, darker, and with the fury of retractable claws, quick speed, ability to have better vision in the dark, predatory instincts; Lillith made it known, she was still the baby of the apartment, whenever she sole chose it. Every other time, be on your guard and watch your heel for a cold chill running by followed by a tingling pain. 

Evolution

3:23 pm. I know we are suppose to love each other for and by the way we are, but is it so wrong to try to change someone? Even if you mean for the better? I can't help but think maybe, they were right... I should've waited. Are we really compatible? Can we make this work? Nothing is every 50/50, someone always try more than the other person.

Maybe your just overthinking this? You just need to relax. Alot has happened these past few days and you just need to breathe and handle everything on a day-by-day basis. You can't carry the burden of the world on your shoulders every single day.

How can I handle it all by solely living in the present? What about the future? I enjoy the little moments that are happening at this exact moment, how could I not? But... what about the future I want, need, deserve to give others? How can I explain to them or my family that I was too busy living in the realization of the moment to think of anything else? To worry about what might happen 5 years from now?

Though I know I can't think of all the answers to the countless questions I have racing through my mind. I can't help but wonder about it all. Maybe, I shouldn't have risked it; and if I didn't, what if I missed something beautiful later on? How can I live without knowing whats in store for me?

Do I regret this decision... I'm not entirely sure. Was this a short-termed fix? I don't know. How long can this possibly last? Forever perhaps. I'm willing to try everything I can to make this work, because though it may not seem like it, I truly care for you. I'm always there for you, not because I want something in return; because I want you to know you have someone here, in the flesh that cares for you and would do anything to keep you happy.

Something is in motion right now that I can not understand, how could I? I'm not a critical thinker. I can feel this... mass energy pushing my body apart, ripping it to shreds. Trying to escape, warm me, show me the errors of my ways.

Ugh, the stretch of your disgusting taste of a hobby. I told you the rules. I gave you the choice. You chose to go against me, now... what's left, me raging, you killing yourself from the inside out. If you really wanted to destroy your body, I'd do it. I've committed pain and torment from the inside of your body before, why not now? Is it because I did in fact teach you how to be stronger? Enclose yourself behind a wall? Or did you really in fact break me... again?

3:42 pm. This is a new developement.

Changes Can Occur... Just Got To Want Them

Its 7:20 a.m. Friday, October 30, 2009. Yesterday we came back from Laredo due to the fact that I had to work (thank you management for cutting the time I spend with my family short). Yet, I got to see my mum, god how I missed her. Got there around the afternoon on Tuesday, but sadly she had to work so I didn't get long to see her. Though, I did get to see E. :) I know, I went to visit my family (which I did), but I got to see my Tiny.

So dropping off my mum, I swung by E's to see how she was, talk abit until I had to pick up my mum. E invited me back for dinner with her parents, but my mum was hungry so I took her to TP (Taco Palenque) for some Panchitos. [Pretty much nachos with alvacodo on top]. She loves that, so I dropped her off and asked if I could head over to E's for dinner. Yes I may be 20, but still rude if I just take the truck without asking.

I arrived late at E's, traffic in some parts. Everyone had finished eating except for her, which I felt bad cause I wanted her to eat too. Though she did eat, we got to watch "Last House on the Left" I think, meh kind of movie; but thats just my opinion. Movie ends and I'm there with her family (Father, Mother, 2 older Sisters, and Brother) when her phone vibrates [Thank you Lynday! :D]. She wanted to know what we were doing and asked if we wanted to go to Wingstop.

Thanks for the save from the awkwardness... So we are off, course I wasn't hungry and asked E if she was, said no so we were just there talking with Lynda and Chente for a whilie.