Racing Thoughts of it All
Society, in which individuals put up their masks to hide their true wants and intentions in an attempt to fit into the world in which nothing makes sense. The world we know now filled with chaos, disorder, destruction, and mayhem –a place where citizens across the world get butchered by each other in an attempt to reach a higher standard living or perhaps just survive. Living behind a mask to hide what they really want. FEAR; fearing the truth, knowing it first hand that for that moment when you come to realize the truth you are happy. Yet, you feel like you may never get that happiness again no matter for how long you look or try. Knowing first hand how a world behind a mask is, I hid behind one for years. Ignoring, trying to make myself come to my “senses” of what I felt or thought were just dreams, a random vision of my imagination in which it would be childish and foolish to follow such expectations.
You fall in love, you dream of her every night; wondering of what she might be doing at this very moment, is she thinking of you? You wonder and wonder, pondering what might become between you two; will you get to be with the girl you dream of ever night… the girl who you fell in love with. Yet, you fear asking her out for fear that your whole little fantasy that MAY become a reality might be shattered by a simple world; NO. So you remain quiet, never speaking of the many words and thoughts that have crossed your mind of what you want to say to her. How you could express yourself to her in a manner in which she’ll find you interesting enough to remain and listen attentively to what you have to say; you remain quiet and do NOTHING. Days go by, weeks, months… years. You do nothing, then as if a test in which you FAILED, those words from someone’s mouth spoken to you, or you might have overheard; she felt the same way about you as you did for her. Now your life shatters not because you got a simple ‘no’ from her, but because you were too fearful to do something and walk up to her and tell her exactly how you felt about her and now, she’s moved on. You now realize what it is to know the power of words and thoughts.
Way before you realize you lost the girl you love, you bury those feelings and thoughts of “What if…?” between both of you deep inside your mind and heart. You bury it so deep down it eats you up inside, you lose the ability to love and think rightfully. You now fear loving someone all the time and speaking up to someone who you might find attractive or that you wish to express your opinion upon. It eats you up inside so profoundly you continue living a life as a ghost. Soulless, wondering this plane of grass and living creatures, forever lost in thought; yet you think of nothing at all for fear of thinking too much and what might the negative outcome be
You love her, you know you do. You’ve loved her since the first time you spoke with her about the total idiotic topics you could think of. Yet, she laughs? Not at you, no, she laughs because she is having a good time with you and maybe just maybe, she thinks she might be onto something. That this one might be different from all the rest, maybe he will be there for her when she needs him the most. You wonder, ‘Why does she look at me with those eyes?’…‘Is she thinking about me as I am thinking about her?’…yes, you wonder. Finally you make your move and speak your mind like a true person, your response…“Yes”. You kiss; your lips upon hers, both of you feel the love you each share between each other. You’ve been together now for quite some time, through both the ups and downs, your stayed together because you love each other: why, all because you spoke your mind.
Now listen and read, because I didn’t write this for nothing. I know first hand the dangers of not speaking your mind and taking the risk. Learn from others, so you won’t have to follow upon their road. Those that give you their wisdom and advice don’t want you to walk about the rugged road they went through. Speak your mind to those you love, take the risk between a simple word such as “no” and cope with it and you’ll soon heal. Bury it deep inside your mind and heart; it will eat you alive and you’ll never heal, you’ll forever miss that piece of yourself.
Nature vs. Nurture; one isn’t born to hate others, to look down upon them in a sense of injustice as they may be parasites to one’s hometown or country. The truth behind hate towards anyone isn’t racial, gender, or religious. One isn’t born an infant and knows the meaning of hatred towards others. No, one is MADE that way. May it be through parenting, environmental, relationships, or encounters with others, those simple interactions are the reasons why so much hatred exists throughout the world.
Love… Fear… Pain… = Life. Isn’t it great that we as humans have the capacity to think reason and hopefully make logical choices? Life is all about choices, whether we choose to do the right or wrong is entirely up to us, but wouldn’t you know it; one way or another we have to make those choices. The ability to love someone, yet truly LOVE them isn’t something in which anyone can come together with someone, look into their eyes and truly mean those three words, “I Love You”; truth be told, love doesn’t come easy, but then again, what in life doesn’t come easy?
They created us. “Us”, beings whom we, as they point out toward us, who don’t respect law and order, the system, rules, government, religion, our parents, our elders, our families, or anything in which seems superior to us. Yet, how can we respect them when they refuse to respect OUR opinions or thoughts on certain matters, or our way of thinking for that matter? True, two wrongs don’t make a right, yet when the life we live in which EVERYTHING is wrong and those on top are just there creating more and more problems for us and yet we do what is right and petition after petition nothing happens. Maybe we should try a little wrong in our life to correct their mistakes and mal actions. Perhaps, who knows, in time we may all live in a harmony in which we all want. To live in relative peace and harmony, isn’t that what we all want? Not only for ourselves, but for our family, or family that has yet to come? Truthfully, no lies, or bullshitting; peace does not come without sacrifice. We all know this, those who think they don’t, either are too ignorant to accept the truth or simply live in a fantasy.
Alright, we all know life can in fact be a total destructive hardcore bitch right? Yes? Ok, good thing no one is in denial. Yes, I know it may sound as a contraction to say life IS a bitch, but the mere fact that other individuals around the world may be suffering much more calamities far worse than you may ever suffer and the fact that your "BIG" suffering has made you take the easy way out of things is just plain idiotic and cowardice. So next time you feel a sense of insecurity, emo-ness, or just plain non-existence... How about you cowboy-the-fuck-up and take charge of your life?
Society; oh god, here it’s a discussion waiting to happen about all sorts of things to society in general to a specific nation's society. Yes, I'm from America. No, I'm not a Yankee. What can I say? America, a land of dreams and hope right? Sure, you have the CHOICE to pursue your dreams and hopes WITH limitation to the fact that they benefit, well, the government, then the American people. I for one am not too entwined with politics, government, or all their bureaucratic jaw-boning. Democratic. Republican. Communism. Anarchism. Socialist. Who gives a shit? I'm an anarchist. I am not too fond with the way the government treats its people. Government was placed to HELP out the whole, not just the rich and protect ever buck and guard every shit they take while the poor and middle-class get from behind and raped. So here’s the important part of reading all this: you want fucking changes in the world and government. YOU FUCKING MAKE THEM.
As always you should know I have a comment of my own. Yes, the thought of hurting the one you "love" is unbearable. The thought that they make you content and feeling the warmth of the sun against your skin, it is devastating knowing that you might hurt them. And as anyone decent with a heart, of course you don’t want to. The mere fact exists that throughout our existence, we are going to be hurt by the ones we hate, dislike, love, enjoy the company of, friends, family, strangers, or closest of them all. Pain and hurting others (unintentionally of course) is just another way to grow up. We all fear growing up; those who say they don't are not only stupid, but liars. Never walk away from something great that you enjoy and makes you content. Holding onto something or someone who gives you the strength to rise each day against the world and all of its sins is worth the struggle to keep. But also bear in mind a struggle also has to end. Either you win or you don't. They may forever keep YOU happy, but they may also bring you harm, just take care and think upon everything before your action is taken.
You fear it all. Your fear love, religion, politics, government, family, friends, strangers, things you don’t know or aware of and even the things you know. Feelings of love, hate, anger, pain, anguish, death, kindness, it all hits you in the softest part a human being has. It hits you so profoundly you feel like everything and everyone is against you. The weight of the world is on your shoulders along with the weight of everyone else right? What can you possibly do, cry? Complain on how life is so unjust and unfair that you wish you had a better life instead of the miserable piece of existence you live in. Screw that, cowboy the fuck up and take control and learn to deal with those mishaps. Grimly and black clouded as your life may be, as life throws you the hardest hits it can, just smile your most sadistic smile back at it; cause guess what? At any point in life, shit is going to rain all over you, and if it isn’t, the people in it will. Learn to deal and cope, after all, that’s what we humans are good at supposedly right? Adaptation.
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