Falling Lower

3:00 p.m. I'm not happy unless I'm alone with you. I really can not stand my life anymore Ohio. I hate everyone and everything around me. The only time I feel any sense of peace is when I lock myself away from the world in complete darkness. Though that only lasts for so long before I begin to feel painfully alone until I hear from you. Honestly, I've thought of ending it all, one way or another. Dying is easy, living is hard. But I'm tired of "living" with you only being a thought or a voice behind a phone call. I don't care if its selfish of me. I need something physically tangible of an interaction to exist between us. I need to be able to hold you, kiss you, let you out of my arms only to realize how much that hurts and pull you back closer. I honestly don't know how much longer I can fake this smile or keep pretending I'm alright.

My body can't keep up anymore with the pains of work. My mind has left me a long time ago. Talking to you is holding the last bit of sanity that really keeps me alive. Between not having the girl of my dreams and the ignorant individuals that parody around me daily, I don't see how I'll ever fit into this demented world. How I captured your heart, I don't know. I'm just beyond ecstatic to know I'm madly in love with you and you are in love with me; me, someone who honestly doesn't deserve anyone's time of day...