The Bearer of Bad News, as always. Ohio, just because I talked to the manager that I wanted out doesn't mean I'll be able to. They still need to find someone to replace me before I can stop doing overnights; until then I have to continue. Sadly this damnation can continue for months before anyone might be willing to go through this.
Almost 2 a.m - 3 a.m. and you are awake messaging me. It is painful for me to know that even though I never wanted to hurt you, I am. I'm making you worry and stay up and it cuts through me slowly with a dull blade tipped with poison. I feel like poison who is just slowing going to eat at us both. It is already starting. I'm bringing you down and its hurting me to know that.
Hearing from you being up made me cry. God I miss you so much. This job keeps me from you. I can't stop crying. It hurts to leave you. If this paper were to make it to your hands, you'd see where the words are smudged and ran with my tears. Is it weak of me to cry? How can I not when I can't hold and kiss the woman of my dreams. the one and only. My beautiful wife. I hate these words, but forgive me for speaking these daggers that cut so deeply into you... Yet again I have to leave you. As I try to hold down my tears once more. My love, I'd be completely devastated if you left. I don't believe, honestly, I could live. Nothing would seem beautiful to me. Everything would be dead to me, just how my life was before your beautiful smile and true love entered my non-existing life.
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